How To Lose a Ring and Find Yourself


LoseARingLast night, I had a vivid dream about losing a ring. This ring rested on the 4th finger of my right hand. It had guarded that space for as long as I could remember. And now it was gone.

In my dream, I had no idea where I left it. My mind kept trying to solve this mystery, but it came up empty. I knew that the ring was important to me, but I was stuck.

I could see the ring – It was large, gaudy and flashy. The stone was a crystal ball that glowed whenever my thoughts turned to judgment, shame or doubt. It was glowing at this moment, in my dream, because of my thoughts.

“What was I thinking to take it off?”

“I don’t misplace things – especially this ring!”

“I am such an idiot for losing it.”

It was almost as if I was watching myself go through this drama. As the judgmental thoughts went across the screen of my mind, the ring started vibrating, as if it were going to explode!

My dreamer self remained calm, cool and collected. She was not involved in the emotional vortex and did not sit in judgment. My dreamer self was awake and aware, smiling slightly at the scene in front of her.

And then I woke up. I immediately felt for my wedding ring on my left hand, and feeling it’s substance, realized that it was just a dream.

What did it Mean?

As I sat in meditation several minutes later, I listened to a guided meditation from Sarah Blondin called, “Loving and Listening to Yourself. The journey she invokes in this meditation gave me the answer to my dream.

In looking outside for ways to fill our inner needs, we never find the source. No one can do that for you; no one can complete you. You are living between your two selves – the self who knows and the self who believes in lack. Once you start loving yourself, you return home.  Sarah shares a phrase that you repeat to yourself during the meditation.  (You will have to listen to discover the phrase that brings you back to self.)

The ring I lost in my dream was my lacking self. It is energized by the ego, who always wants me to look outside for the answer.  My lacking self believes in this way of living, and her mission is to become satisfied from the outside. The glowing energy of the ring seemed like a celebration of an accomplishment, but it was really a sign to turn away and go within.

Losing the ring means that I can show up in the world, loving all of myself.

What does my life look like when I love all of me? How do I show up differently – in person, online or even with myself?

I am eager to explore and grow in this new way of being. Whenever I fall back into the dream of lack, I repeat Sarah’s phrase. It has become my new talisman!

Why not join me in a 21 Day Challenge? In just 15 minutes a day, you will meditate, journal and set an intention for the day. After following this practice for 21 days, you will be a different person! You may even loosen that ring that sits on your finger. 🙂

It’s just another step in the Heart Dance!

When are You a Grown Up?


pexels-photo-556666Milestone birthdays have a way of encouraging reflective thoughts about life, love and the pursuit of happiness.

I have one of these birthdays coming up — the one that marks the beginning of a new decade and the end of the previous one.

“Milestone” sounds like you have a chain around your neck and you have just been thrown off the boat. I prefer to be more playful — such as “this is my year of celebrating __ years of traveling around the sun.”

Now that I am entering a new phase of life, I wonder if I am finally a “grown up.” When I was a kid, I thought all grown ups had the answers to everything. They sure seemed to…

“It’s just the way it is.”

“We’ve always done it that way.”

“No need to fix something that isn’t broken.”

Of course, now that I am older and wiser, these pat sayings are amusing. But to my 8 year old mind, these words were the law, not to be questioned.

In my moments of introspection, I always wondered what it would be like to be on that side of the table. To have all of the answers and speak so confidently.

Now, I know the truth.

When I was a child, I thought like a child. Now, as an adult, hopefully I think like an adult. But am I a grown up?

That question keeps hammering in the back of my mind. Have I reached the age where grown up status is automatically conferred? Or do I have to earn it?

What I do know is that the more times I travel around the sun, the less tolerance I have for other people’s answers. I am on a quest to seek my own answers that resonate, encourage and cultivate my greatest good.

No one has the answer for everyone; they only have the answer that works for them.

How do you find your answers? For me, meditation and mindfulness have paved the way back to myself.

Dipping into that space between thoughts is the only way I have found to love myself. Being aware of my thoughts and my words is the natural offspring of loving myself.

Why not join the 21 Day Heart Dancing Challenge? It will help you establish a daily practice of meditation, journaling and intentional creativity. Who know where that might take you?

Hong Kong


Sitting in the back of a taxi, gripping the door handle as we plunge into the next curve, I wonder what am I trying to prove. A middle-age, white woman by herself in Hong Kong. Traveling to see the Po Lin Monastery and the Big Buddha.

Then we round a corner and I see our path around the side of the mountain. The ocean spreads out beneath our feet and I know why I came.

To step out of my comfortable life and experience more…of Life.

This trip was a bit impulsive. Traveling to the other side of the world should not be taken lightly, but I have been bitten by the travel bug. It produces illogical impulses that prompt you to say “Yes!” to invitations to attend a Bali retreat.

And that’s how I find myself in Hong Kong, on a short stay before I fly to Bali.

The taxi driver is kind and speaks a bit of English, but he’s busy driving on the narrow, two land road attached by a sliver of land to the mountainside. I keep repeating my favorite mantra, “I am safe. I am forgiven. I am loved. I am love.” These words calm my anxious mind and I surrender to the moment.

We drive through several villages, colorful bits of clothes fluttering the wind from the apartments that line the road. Signs in Chinese and English, Coca-Cola logos on every storefront. The world has shrunk when the logo of an American company appears even in a remote village on Lantau Island.

When we reach our destination, the driver points the way to the Monastery and waves good bye. I realize that I am alone and a long way from home.

The Big Buddha

The wide walk up to the grounds of the Monastery are completely empty. As I turn a corner, the Buddha appears, shrouded in clouds and mist.

The gates do not open until 10:00 a.m., so I had two hours to enjoy the Monastery. Big Buddha would still be there.

As I continued to walk deeper into the grounds of the Monastery, several people passed me, hurrying toward a destination in front of us. They were soon followed by more men and women, all in a rush to be somewhere.

Curious, I followed them to an inner courtyard surrounded by small temples. A larger one dominated one end, and there were three bowls set at the base of the stone steps. Inside each bowl was a Buddha statute. As I stood back and watched, every person who was in such a rush, paused at each bowl, bowed and then ladled the Buddha three times in a ritualistic manner.

After the last person finished, I walked up to read the sign that explained this practice. The ritual of washing each statute was symbolic of being washed.

As I was deciding what to do next, a low, deep noise seemed to rise up behind this temple. Since more people were going around this building to something on the other side, I decided to follow.

The noise became chanting, punctuated by gongs and chimes. I soon learned it was the daily ceremony inside the Grand Hall of Ten Thousand Buddhas.

Out of respect for the Monastery, I did not take a picture of the hall. Words cannot describe the majesty of this space. I will try to give you a sense of what I experienced.

Golden light shone from the five Dhyani Buddhas, which were located along the back of the hall. People were seated in rows, chanting with the monks and repeating their words. The walls were carved in small squares, each containing a Buddha statute. Golden pillars supported the ceiling, which was elaborately painted in a rainbow of colors.

There were two trees with benches around them, just outside the Grand Hall. I sat down and let the chanting and energy wash over me. My eyes closed and I felt myself open to the moment.

And I had not even seen the Big Buddha yet!

Soon it was time to walk up the 200+ steps to the statute. At the top, a round plaza surrounds the statute and provides a great view of the harbor.

There is a museum inside with scenes depicting the Buddha’s life. What I found fascinating was the commemoration of the statute. This is part of the speech that was given at that time.

I also walked on the Wisdom Trail. By now, the humidity and heat made the day steamy, but I wanted to see this part of the grounds. It was worth the trip.

Each of these wooden poles contains a portion of the “Heart Sutra,” described below. There are 38 poles, arranged in the shape of the infinity sign.

It was time to leave the Monastery. Big Buddha was not changed by my visit, but I certainly was different. A new sense of freedom, purpose and gratitude became my mantle as I returned to my hotel.

It’s just another step in the Heart Dance!

Moon Magic


Today, May 15, 2018, marks the new moon. A day of beginnings and new adventures. A day of stepping into the unknown.

Even if you think you know exactly how your day is going to unfold, there are uncontrollable forces that can tip over your expectations.

Your coffee spills on your work clothes.

There is an accident on your way to work (or you have an accident, even worse).

Your boss decides to check on that long term project that is not quite where you want it.

How do you show up in these situations? Do you react or respond? Can you feel when your body’s stress response is triggered and do you know how to interrupt that pattern?

If you don’t know the answers to these questions, I may have a way to help you discover more about yourself.

Moon Magic can Help

The moon orbits around the earth in a set, predictable pattern. It appears to grow and then disappear, but we know that it is still there, silently being the moon. Whether we can see it or not.

The moon is always itself. It cannot (and does not) try to become something else. It is what it is and it does what it does.

There is a part of you that is the same. Eternal. Unchanging. An integral part of the whole.

That piece of you is where your moon magic waits. The only way to access it is to be still, calm and meet it face to face.

Where do you find that silence? By meditating.

Meditation is as hard as you make it. If you believe it’s hard, it will be. If you believe that the point is to stop thinking, you will never be a meditator.

The magic of meditation is in the letting go. Let go of expectations. Let go of achievement or conditions. Let go of your small self to remember your real self.

Meditate Daily to Become Like the Moon

Set an intention before you meditate. Use the moon as a celestial template. Serene, peaceful, steady. When you enter your day, use these attributes of the moon to guide your day. If you are triggered, your breath will lead you back to your self.

If you have never meditated before, why not join my 21 Day Heart Dancing Challenge? It takes 15 minutes a day and will support you in creating and following a daily meditation practice.

Today, as the new moon begins another cycle, you can step into a new cycle of your own. A place where your authentic self emerges. A state of being that holds true no matter what is swirling around you. A peace and knowing that you are safe and loved.

It’s just another step in the Heart Dance!

Start with Yourself


nicolas-tissot-435976

There are absolute truths about the human experience that never change, no matter what century you live in or what culture. These truths are immutable, immeasurable and impossible to ignore.

One of these truths is that to change the world, you must first change yourself.

In the Crypts of that grand cathedral known as Westminster Abbey, on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop inscribed in 1100 A.D., are these words:

When I was young and free and my imagination

had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world.

As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world

would not change, so I shortened my sights some

what and decided to change only my country.

But it too seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years, In one last desperate

attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those

closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.

And now as I lie on my death bed, I suddenly realize:

If I had only changed myself first, then by example I

would have changed my family.

From their inspiration and encouragement, I would

then have been able to better my country and, who

knows, I may have even changed the world.

Don’t wait for the last moments of your life to know this truth. You can make a difference right now, in the very moment. Decide to change yourself and you will change the world.

Start with yourself.

What wild and crazy thing is calling to you? To go surf in Hawaii? To run the Paris Marathon? To climb a mountain?

Whatever it is, culture will try to stop you. The rules of the world seem to quash the very thing that makes us human — our spirit. Don’t let it quash you.

If your first thought is to denigrate yourself or your abilities, that is culture talking. You will not live your wild, best life listening to culture.

Just remember, that thing that is calling you…is pointing directly at you and saying, “It’s time. Walk away. Come play with me. You’ll see.”

That thing calling you defies reason and logic (more culture speak). It defines your deepest yearning, that person you were meant to be.

Start with yourself and you will discover that impossible truth that we must all face at some point in our lives. You are here for a reason and only you can express it to the world.

It’s just another step in the Heart Dance.

You are Never Alone


lyndsey-marie-438682My life has changed dramatically. Our only daughter is in college, I left my part-time job to work from home, and I now find myself by myself more than at any other time in my life.

Before this stage in my life, being alone was never a problem, mostly because it rarely happened. Between a busy career, raising a daughter, all of her activities (school, sports, etc.) and our family, being alone was usually not an option. Others came first, and I willingly played my part.

But now all of that busyness is over. In these quiet hours, working from home, I face loneliness. I’m afraid that I will discover myself as less than. Now that I can’t hide from myself, I can either jump into another job or see where this path leads.

I choose to stay…(read the rest of this post inside Medium).

(Medium is a great platform for bloggers to get noticed. If you liked this post, please clap. Leave a comment below if you posted an article in Medium and share the link, and I will return the favor).

What Makes You Come Alive?


Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.  – Howard Thurman

It’s the year-end, and you may not be happy with how 2017 treated you. You may have started setting your goals for 2018, determined to have a better year.

Instead of being regretful, frustrated and angry at the world, why not try a different approach?21 Day Challenge

It’s the 21-Day Heart Dancing Challenge. Designed to help you create a daily mindfulness practice, it also will change your perspective on yourself, your life, and your place in the world.

Don’t believe me? Nothing I say will convince your intellect that a daily mindfulness practice brings more peace, happiness, and joy in your life. The skeptic in you will always resist. The cynic that loves to snicker at these concepts is probably having a field day right now.

I can’t fight your skeptical or cynical voices. They’re in your head, not mine.

What I can do is throw down a challenge. Join the 21-Day Heart Dancing Challenge, establish your daily practice of meditation, journaling, and intentional creation. If you have faithfully completed each day’s work, and you still don’t believe in the power of daily practice, I will publicly acknowledge that you were right.

On the other hand, if you find at the end of the challenge that you have changed and feel more alive, then we both win.

Do we have a deal?