Everyone Has a Backstory

Dear Back Story Human:

No one knows the other person’s backstory 100%. And most of the time, we never know the details of that person’s perspective or how they perceive the present moment.

Dogs don’t have this problem because we see the best in the person and don’t worry about their past. Humans hang onto their past and don’t see the person, as they are in the present moment.

That is why forgiveness is so important. You never forgive because the other person deserves it. You forgive because it releases you from the past and allows you to be present, right here. When you don’t forgive, you remain anchored to that painful event, and you miss all of the beauty and grandeur of the present moment.

Humans have been called “meaning making machines.” When something happens, you will create a story about that event. A story is the meaning that you assign to a situation, person or event about what it means to you. That story becomes the filter for the next moment.

Dogs love unconditionally, in the here and now. Dogs don’t know forgiveness, because to a dog, there is nothing to forgive. To a human, everything is a call to forgiveness.

Dogs stepped into the light of the campfire all those centuries ago to remind humans of a grander vision of life. We know how to live in bliss, happiness, and joy. Humans have forgotten, but with our help, you can remember and join us in the Heart Dance.

I know

You can be the person your dog thinks you are.

Love you tons,


P.S.  If you have never started or been able to practice a daily meditation and journal ritual, I may have the solution. Click over to 21 Day Heart Dancing Challenge and join their email list. You will receive a daily email with a short lesson, a meditation, journaling prompts and intention setting tools. It could be the start of a life-long journey!


From Head to Heart

Dear Head-Based Human:

When was the last time you spent 10 minutes outside, just enjoying nature’s activity around you? That thing you always carry with you was left inside, and all you had to do was to sit and watch the show. The more you paid attention, the more you noticed the bee buzzing around the flowers, or the caterpillar inching his way across a blade of grass.

Can you remember the last time you allowed yourself to just be, in the moment?

That, my friend, is the difference between dogs and humans. Dogs don’t think about being in the moment, we just are. You tend to think about your past or future so much that there is no present moment in your experience.

Staying in your head 100% of the time is something that humans get very good at, and are even encouraged to develop as a useful skill. The costs of head living are never discussed, only noticed when loneliness, frustration and a sense of worthlessness rise to unacceptable levels.

To be fully embodied, your head and your heart must be used. Each domain has its own language, and are part of a balanced and centered human.

Dogs know this instinctively. Humans forget.

That is when its time to just be in nature. Take several deep breaths and let go of your frustrations, doubt, and shame. You are a marvelous creation of nature; celebrate it!

Then go spend time with your dog. He will open up your heart again.

A shared heart connection

You can become the person your dog knows you are.

Tail wagging,


P.S.  Why not check out my book, Drop the Leash: Let Go of the Past and Love in the Present? It makes a great Valentine’s Day gift for the dog lovers in your life.

Call Me Forgiveness

Dear Has-To-Be-Right Human:

Have you ever thought about the cost you incur when you insist that your position or story is the right one, without any regard to the pain it may cause someone else?

No, I didn’t think so. Otherwise, why would you insist that you are right, even when it’s hurting the other person?

Because you have made being right more important than seeing with love.

The need to be right is what prevents you from forgiving in the moment. Dogs do this instinctively; humans…not so much.

Over my many lifetimes, I have collected a list of questions that will help you make a different choice. When you are in an argument or situation, and you know that you are pushing the “have-to-be-right” envelope, ask yourself these questions:

  • What am I feeling right now? It is love or fear?
  • If I am feeling fear (or any of its cousins, anger, sarcasm, arrogance, etc.), why am I afraid?
  • What if I chose to love in this situation instead?

Your natural state is love. You knew this as a baby. Babies don’t hold grudges or fail to fall back in love once their immediate needs are met. Babies don’t have a need to be right (dogs don’t either). Then why do most adult humans forget how to fall back in love?

Because of their need to be right. It’s ego-based and separates you from everyone. Think about it – then use the questions to drop back in love.

Your dog can show you how.

In these days leading up to your big Heart day, I asked some friends of mine to help me remind you that you came from love, you are love, and you are seen.

Call me_Forgiveness._

You can be the person your dog thinks you are.

Hang in there,


P.S. Why not check out my book, Drop the Leash: Let Go of the Past and Love in the Present? It makes a great Valentine’s Day gift for the dog lovers in your life.

What is Your Definition of Love?


let-love-leadShakespeare described love as a “many splendored thing,” which is like calling New York City a “place where a lot of people live.” Love is such an elusive concept that we are forced to look at the external ways we love to describe the internal emotion.

For example, how many ways is love defined on Valentine’s Day? Look at the messages that are posted on that day, and you will find phrases like, “I love you to pieces,” “You complete me,” or even a comparison with a beloved pet, such as “I love you as much as my dog loves me.”

What is it about love that is so hard to grasp? Instead of defining love from the outside-in, why not try a different approach?

A New Way to Look at Love

Take a moment and ask yourself, “What is my definition of love?” Write down the first thoughts that pop into your mind. You may have thought about something that someone did for you or an act of kindness that you gave to someone else. Look at what you wrote down and see if these words sprang from your mind.

The mind is influenced by the messages from the external world. Commercialism, consumerism, and consumption all create an impact on your definition of love. Don’t believe me? Take a look around, and you might spot these messages that are motivated by the need to buy:

“Buy this diamond ring to show her how much you love her.”

“Show someone how much you love them. Give them ______.” (the blank is filled in by what is being advertised).

“When you love someone, show them how much.” (the implication is to buy that product, and it will convey your love for you).

These are love’s definitions of the intellect or mind.

There is another way to see love. It comes from the quiet, still space inside, where words do not live. This space is where your knowing resides, that sense of connection to something much bigger than you. This is your being, your essence, the center of you.

Let’s try to discover your definition of love from that place of being.

Sit quietly, close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Allow your body to sink into the chair and melt. Your mind quiets as you continue to breathe. When you are ready, allow the answer to “What is love?” to rise from your heart. Don’t question what comes up, just sit in receiving and continue to breathe.

You will know when you have your answer. In fact, it is that knowingness that you connect with each time you enter this calm, still space. See if you can’t feel the quality of that knowingness, the energy that fills up that space.

While you are in that energy, do you feel loved? Do you feel accepted? Do you feel whole and complete? The answer to these questions is obvious because this is the energy you came from, where you were created and where you will return once your body has finished doing its job.

Moving Forward

When you have connected to that knowing energy, love no longer needs to be defined. It simply is who-you-are. Love is your teacher and gently shows you how to navigate in the world. No longer of the world, you are aware of how much bigger a life you can live from love.

Love does not see with the eyes of judgment, doubt or fear. It does not hold expectations of others that cause you pain when those expectations go unmet. Love does not wait to give or receive. It just IS.

One way to stay in touch with the IS-ness of love is to meditate every day. Spend time in the still place within, and you will discover that you will show up differently in the outside world. No longer concerned about the opinions of others, no longer sensitive to being overlooked or not enough, your relationships and circumstances will change.

Make a note of how people respond to you differently. Those who are critical or judgmental will fall away because you are no longer accepting their negative energy. Doubt and fear of your own value and abilities are distant memories. You show up as a wholehearted, centered human being.

As you notice these differences in yourself, your relationships and your world, it will dawn on you:

When you become the embodiment of love, you are enough.

Because in the end, YOU are the definition of love! You are the one to express love to the world in the unique way that only you can accomplish. You are the embodiment, heart, and soul of love.

Bio:  A Mindfulness & Enneagram Teacher, Kathryn Eriksen has led the life of the intellect (as a lawyer) and discovered that happiness could not be bought, acquired or achieved. Please join Kathryn in a 3 day video course called “The Heart Dancing  Mini-Course” and become part of the Heart Dancing Tribe!


Ask This Question to Stay Present

I want to share something that happened on my way home from a women’s retreat. As I stepped on the plane, I stopped and glanced down the aisle. I was the last person in the A boarding group, so 59 people were already seated (this was Southwest Airlines, after all).

AirlineSeatsAs I looked at mostly bent heads of my fellow passengers, a question pop into my head that I had never considered before. It made all the difference in my awkward shuffle down the aisle, pushing my suitcase and balancing a heavy backpack on my shoulder.

The question I asked myself, just before walking down the aisle was, “Who is awake and aware?”

I passed many people who were looking down at their phone or other electronic devices. Not sure if they were aware of anything but the digital images dancing in front of their eyes. They certainly were not looking for anyone who was awake and aware, because they were closed in their own cocoon.

I kept pushing my suitcase, adjusting my backpack, looking for anyone who was awake and aware.

And then, it happened. From about 3 rows in front of me – I found someone! He looked directly at me, our eyes connecting for several seconds. I felt his presence, and I know he felt mine! There was an unseen but definite connection that occurred in that brief span of time. Human being to human being.

What a gift to bring to such a mundane activity! It kept me present, in the moment, and completely free to find the perfect seat. It was amazing how alive I felt just being in this simple practice.

I have decided to make this a game that I play in crowded spaces. The shopping mall, the airport, even at a gas station. How many people can I discover who are awake and aware?

There is a subtle shift in my energy when I ask this question. I am more aware of my fellow humans, and I connect with them on another level. I feel almost instant recognition when I do find another person who is awake and aware. The cool thing is that I can see that immediate recognition in their eyes too!

Please join me in this game. As you look for people who are awake and aware, you will experience being awake and aware yourself. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

Post your experiences here for all to enjoy!



Let. Love. Lead


Today is Valentine’s Day, the time we set aside to honor love, relationships and trust in something more than we can experience with our five senses.

Where do you find that something more?

In your heart space. Your Anahata. The energy of Anahata recognizes that we are part of something larger, that we are interconnected within an intricate web of relationships extending through life and the universe.

Heart Dancing is living from this space – this energy. Love and compassion naturally flow through you as you see the world with eyes of acceptance.

You may be drawn out of your heart space by external events or internal stories that trigger a defensive reaction. In those moments, remember that Love is always present, even in the most dense circumstances.

Let. Love Lead.

It’s the mantra for all Heart Dancers and the song of all dogs who are in love with their masters.

When you forget, your dog will remind you. Anyone with a close relationship with a dog knows that they live 100% from their Anahata  – their heart space. Love pours forth unconditionally, non-judgmentally and freely. Your dog does not hold back because he is worried or afraid – he gives completely and without hesitation.

Kathryn Eriksen is the creator of Heart Dancing, a way of life that joins the practical with the formless. Drop the Leash is her latest book that teaches us how to live – from a dog’s perspective. Learn more at KathrynEriksen.com.

In my work, I meet fascinating people who are helping others realize their happiness and bliss. In January, I met Miriam Castilla at an event and my life has not been the same.

Miriam is one of those effervescent women who light up the room. Her lovely voice, accented by an Aussie flair, is just one clue to who she is: a woman who has walked through hard times and not only survived, but thrived.Today's Woman

When she looked back over her life and realized how she created a life she loves, Miriam decided to write a book to share her insights with other women. Today’s Woman – Life Balance Secrets is the result, and it is powerful, practical and pragmatic.

Lean in now and listen to our conversation on Heart Dancing Radio, as we talk about life, love and Miriam’s two prong approach to living well.

Heart Dancing – it’s the only way to live! ❤