The Quality of Your Life Depends On the Questions You Ask


When I was five years old, my bother and I wanted to learn how to ride our bicycles without training wheels. Dad took them off each bike and said, “Are you sure?” We both nodded and couldn’t wait for the morning.  bike-with-training-wheels

The next day, Mom took us to the curb in front of our house and had my brother go first. With some pushing from behind and encouragement from us, he wobbled down the street and as he picked up speed, straightened. The grin on his face was enough for me to say, “Now it’s my turn!”

But Mom had to go back inside the house…something about something. All I knew was that he got to take that next important step forward and I had to wait. My five-year old emotional self couldn’t see through the tears, but something broke through the veil and I had a sense of loving energy surrounding me. One minute I was lost, rejected and alone…and the next minute, I was loved, protected and safe.

I grabbed my brother and we went back outside to where our bikes were leaning against the curb. I climbed on my bike and asked him to push me. He looked a bit worried but could see the determination in my eyes and knew better than to argue. He ran along beside me, pushing as I pedaled, then I broke free.

I actually believed I could fly!

I have reflected many times on that moment of being lost in myself, alone, angry and frustrated, then feeling something surround me with love. That loving energy blasted my little self apart and I stepped into a union with something much bigger than me.

What happened?

Looking back on that defining moment, I now realize what I was doing as I cried against the obvious injustice. I asked a question that never leads anywhere. It is really more of a word than a question, but it has always been used by humans to try to make sense of their life. One word, asked to relieve pain and suffering, actually does the opposite. It takes you down a spiraling vortex of negative emotions, leading to nowhere. What is that word, asked through the millennia?

WHY?

Why did this happen? Why am I such an idiot? Why does he get everything he wants and I have to wait? Why? Why? Why?

Can you see how that question always leads to more questions? If you do come up with an answer, it is always at your own expense. You become the victim because you are looking outside of yourself for the reason why this happened.

Whenever you play the victim’s role, your power is forgotten.

Instead of asking “Why?” that loving energy so many years ago showed me a different question to ask. It also reminded me that I was safe, worthy and well-loved. As long as I started from that place of worthiness, I could never do anything wrong, because I remained in my own power to choose and create. The empowering question is also one word, but it leads to expansion and growth, not despair.

What one word should you use to tap into your creative powers, heal yourself and your world?

HOW?

How can I learn to ride my bike now? (go out and try) How can I do this better? How can I become the person I dream of being?

Can you see that asking”How?” taps into your creative juices? Your mind immediately begins to supply answers to questions starting with “How?” and it liberates you to approach problems with a solution mindset. It also taps into your own self-worth, because it forces you to lean on yourself, instead of blame the outside world. As you take steps toward your goal, you reinforce your own creative abilities to become more.

As we stand on the cusp of a new year, train yourself to ask the questions that will lead to expansion and growth. Become mindful of the questions that you ask, because they have a direct impact on your life.

Take off the training wheels of victimhood and learn to fly!

TrainingWheels

To read more about these concepts and to learn how to ask empowering questions, please visit my new websites:

HeartDancingNow.com    and    KathrynEriksen.com

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