I have a dear friend (Sarah) who struggled with a seemingly impossible situation for several years. Her daughter-in-law (Amy) was rude, obnoxious and refused to let Sarah see her grandchildren. When the issue was forced, Amy was especially critical, judgmental and made the visit so unpleasant that my friend would walk away stunned, then angry. Sarah looked into taking legal action, but did not want to pursue that route. She convinced Amy and her husband (Sarah’s son) that they should all go to counseling, but that did not resolve the negativity or shared anger.
Two weeks ago, I had lunch with Sarah and listened to her grief at not being part of her grand children’s lives. (By this time, Amy and her husband had moved next door to Amy’s parents, which was quite a distance from Sarah’s home.) I started to suggest that she strongly look into taking legal action (grandparents do have some rights in the state of Texas), but then I had a better idea.
My training in the material known as Infinite Possibilities has helped me see these types of situations from a totally different perspective. The energy that Sarah was using to stay angry, hurt and resentful was also filling up any space that could be used for healing. As long as her thoughts and beliefs were grounded in the fact that she was right and her daughter-in-law was wrong, nothing was going to change. Her thoughts, words and actions were going to spring from those beliefs and Amy was going to react in kind. When she shifts her beliefs to love, kindness and acceptance, her thoughts, words and actions will also shift.
I also explained about the basic principle of “Thoughts Become Things” and reminded her that it works 24/7. Currently, she was getting everything she didn’t want, because she was focused on those negative images and emotions. Change your thinking to what you do want and your outside world will also change. Thoughts are powerful bundles of energy that actually mold the energy that you live in. Why not use these principles to get what you want most in life?
As I explained these basic principles, Sarah went very still and quiet. Her entire body seemed to be listening to my words.
“Are you ready to change and open the way to a new beginning?”
Sarah nodded and smiled.
“Then here is what you should do. Sit quietly and imagine spending quality time with your grand babies. They know you as a loving presence in their life, and Amy and your son are thrilled to have you share in the joy of their children. Try to fill in as many details as possible to make it real, including what you feel in those moments.”
I looked to see if she was still attentive. Sarah nodded for me to continue.
“After you have completed your vision, write Amy an email and express your desire to see the babies. Let her know that it is her decision to allow it.”
Sarah looked at me in astonishment. “Is that it?”
“I know it sounds hard to believe, but your energy shift around why you want to spend time with your grandchildren will be communicated in your email. Amy will sense the change, even though there are no words used to convey it.”
She still looked skeptical, so I added, “What do you have to lose? If this doesn’t work, you are in the same situation that you find yourself now. But if it does work…”
Sarah sent me an email after Easter to let me know what happened. I have her permission to reprint it here:
“Remember our lunch when I said ‘I’m listening.’ I was and made my wishes known to my son and daughter-in-law. They came over today with the grand babies. We had an Easter egg hunt and a wonderful time together. Amy and I talked for about an hour and expressed ourselves to each other. Our perception of events, how it had hurt us, angered us and how we could move forward. We cried. We hugged each other, but most importantly, we communicated for the first time ever. ”
Isn’t that unbelievable? I was thrilled and excited that she had opened communication again and could now be the Grandmother she dreamed of being.
Do you have any troubling situations or worries? If you are caught in the vortex of anxiety or anger, it always helps to take a step back and see what you really want from the situation. Follow the steps outlined above and observe how it shifts your energy, which changes your thoughts, words and actions. A key question to ask yourself is, “Would I rather be right or happy?” If you are stuck on being right, the situation will not change. But if you are tired of trying to be right and you just want happiness, then these techniques will work.
Please let me know how this worked out for you – I would love to hear it! Be well –